In an attempt to legislate “taste”, or perhaps “style”, Tennessee Representative Joe Towns (D-Memphis), has sponsored a bill that would make criminal the public wearing of saggy pants! The Tennessean:
Under the proposal, a person could be fined as much as $1,000 for publicly wearing pants “below the person’s waistline … in a manner that exposes the person’s underwear or bare buttocks.”
Towns says the behavior is offensive.
Now, I completely understand that Rep. Towns may have sponsored this bill–believing full well that it would never make it out of committee–simply as a matter of voicing an opinion, or so that he could claim a “moral victory” to his constituency when he next has to run for office. But:
The measure sponsored by Rep. Joe Towns, a Memphis Democrat, passed the House Criminal Practice and Procedure Subcommittee on Wednesday.
Jesus-fucking-please us! I’ve got an idea: let’s turn every police officer in the state into a fucking high school assistant principal! I mean, waistlines today, hemlines tomorrow. What the fuck is going on up there on Capitol Hill???
I for one am just thoroughly pleased that we have, in Tennessee, solved all our problems related to real crime and budget shortfalls and education and unemployment and all the other issues that have a real, substantial daily impact on peoples lives. I mean, why else would good Rep. Towns be sponsoring such meaningless, trivial and trite–not to mention un-American–legislation about incredibly insignificant shit that, pardon, “offends” him. Talk about legislating to the lowest common denominator! What delicate sensibilities this daisy has! (Sorry, that’s actually an insult to daisies which are, after all, fairly resilient plants) What’s next, bluejeans only on Fridays? Christ, we’re talking about sidewalks here, not statehouses!
And don’t get me wrong, I don’t advocate this saggy pants stuff. But you know what I do? I don’t wear saggy fucking pants that fall down to the crack of my ass! Jesus! Whatever happened to freedom? You don’t like saggy pants? Fine, don’t wear them, but it’s a very different thing to go around telling other people they can’t wear them. What is this guy, six, and all of us are over at his house playing in his backyard?
Maybe I’m just flat wrong here, but since when does anyone have the right to not be offended? I mean, in my home, yes, but in public? Get real!
You know, it’s bad enough when lawmakers try to legislate their own personal, religious belief system in an effort to force the rest of us to live our lives the way THEY say we should, but this guy is actually trying to legislate his own personal likes and dislikes. Did I step through some fucking portal without knowing it and wind up in Bizzaro World?
What’s the deal, Rep. Towns? Did some other Representative beat you to the punch by sponsoring a bill that would require everyone to smile when they’re in public?
