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March 31, 2008 at 8:37am
by thecodepounder In the era of over the top storylines that strain the very notion of “suspension of disbelief“, (and a surging wave of fundamentalism, especially in the Christianity corner) it’s no wonder that 10,000 B.C. has gotten so many so-so and outright bad reviews. It’s sad, though, because this is a awesome film.
The story is a classic tale. Now, admittedly, if you are a typical American pinhead with A.D.D. who needs a bomb exploding every three minutes to keep you from either zoning-out like a zombie or losing concentration like a tweaking speed-freak on a 2-shot espresso buzz, then this movie isn’t for you. You should watch “Live Free or Die Hard”, which also was a fantastic film but which has the requisite bomb exploding every three minutes that your marginally functional, cross-wired pee-brain requires.
And, while I’m at it, let me address what seems to be the biggest complaint about this movie, “historical inaccuracy.” You fucking morons, this is a work of FICTION, get it? It’s not a fucking documentary, and if you couldn’t get that from the trailers that showed fucking Mammoths running around then you are too stoopid to watch movies, ok? And while I’m at it, I’m just going to dismiss completely the lame arguments from the wacko fundamentalist biblical-literalism crowd, ok? I mean, if you really think that our 4.5 billion year old planet that is hurtling though our 13.7 billion year old universe is only about six thousand years old, then you should have known right off that this was not the movie for you, and if you went to see it anyway, then you deserve what you got (unless, of course, you also happen to be one of the aforementioned pee-brains, in which case you are just too sad to comment upon).
So, what’s that leave? I guess that leaves a pretty small crowd: Americans of at least average intelligence who are well-balanced and enjoy quality entertainment. Christ, that’s me and my son and about seven other people. Well, if you’re one of those seven, go see this movie–it’s every bit as good as the trailers made it out to be. I enjoyed 10,000 B.C. as much as I enjoyed any of the Lord of the Rings movies. And, the fact that it wasn’t overloaded with fucking “bad” language or bloody gore and guts splattering all over the movie screen was a nice change too.
Bravo! I look forward to the sequel, 9,975 B.C.!
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